possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
