she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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