I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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