We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
