I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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