There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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