Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Randomize