smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
