it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
