the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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