chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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