He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being pregnant is like rehab
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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