Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
