He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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