We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
