my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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