Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
