google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize