Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize