You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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