you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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