what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
