But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I supernannyed him into submission
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
