i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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