My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize