I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
