Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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