How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
