he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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