soooo we both peed the bed last night...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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