So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
