with your own penis?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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