Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
there is puke in my bra ... again
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