Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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