she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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