Pappa wants mamma naked
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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