hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
