Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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