i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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