there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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