You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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