I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
