im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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