Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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