you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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