I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
