Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
