i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Randomize
