I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
