Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
