My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
