That's intense
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
