when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize