I just cut my nipple shaving
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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