It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
