Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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