Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
