I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
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