I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
