He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
