I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize